[Video]

[demiurgos_girl]

[Elaine is still spirit walking, not yet quite ready to risk going back into her body.]

Mm. [She clears her throat, and forces herself to look straight at the camera.] I don't usually get that scared or desperate. [This is important to her; she's only twelve, after all, and the opinion of her peers and friends matters a lot. Like any kid and teen, she cares very much about what people think of her.] I think it wasn't just the atmosphere of the place, but maybe the Mansion actually got into our heads and fed us fear.

There was a time I was kidnapped for a few hours, before I came here. And I could have sworn that I would die of fear. I was so scared. And then I realized that it wasn't my fear that I was feeling, but my captor's. I guess it was strong enough that I could read his head without meaning to. And during the event, being around all that fear, I... just couldn't take it. [I just wasn't strong enough. What was Lucifer thinking, giving me this power... I don't know what to do with it, don't know how to live with it.]

[I wish he was here...]

Ganta? Could we have that talk now?

Comments

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[Ganta blinks in surprise. He's never seen her in her spirit form before, except on that video and he was a little...distracted at the time.] Hi.

Um...is your body still...? [Broken.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'd rather wait for it to heal before I try anything. [What an odd conversation.] It's in good hands, anyway. [It still bothers her slightly to be calling her body "it" but then, what else could she call it? She opens the doors.]

It's so easy to get used to this place, that I tend to stop appreciating it eventually. I didn't realize how constricting the Mansion is, until that event.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[It is an odd conversation, but as long as she isn't upset or worried, he'll put his concern aside.]

That one was pretty bad. [He follows her outside, tugging the doors shut behind them and then pulling his sleeves down over his hands.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was. [She glances at his hands.] Are you sick?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

I probably just caught a cold or something. [He changes the subject quickly.] Um, what was it you wanted to talk about?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh. [Walking through the gardens now, and she kicks at some dead leaves and grass.] Don't get mad, okay?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[Being told not to get mad right off the bat is a little disconcerting.] About you almost killing yourself trying to get out?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Well... that, and other things. It was the event. [She shakes her head.] No, it was also me. But, I never would have, if it wasn't for the event.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He was honestly upset at her for endangering herself that way, once he stopped being so worried, but he'd be a hypocrite if he chewed her out about it. Especially after the things he'd done, both at home and here, during the event.

He rubs at his neck, not used to it being exposed.] You're not the only one who screwed up because of the event.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[She glances at him, and sees him rubbing at his neck. And the lack of a collar unnerves her. She already has a feeling that she knows what he's talking about. He earns a blank stare for a few moments, before she looks away, sighing.] Wonderland brings out the worst in us.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

At least neither of us died, right? [He's trying to lighten the mood, but to him at least the attempt falls flat. Both of them came quite close to dying and to killing other people. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks at his feet.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[It falls flat for Elaine too, though she gives him another smile.] So who tells their story first?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He sighs.] I guess I'll go first.

[Seems like the right thing to do, since he did just baldly say that she screwed up. He scuffs his shoes in the grass for a few steps before saying anything.] I attacked someone I'd never met, for no reason except that I was scared.

[He wasn't quite ready to admit to the rest of what he'd been up to during the event.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh. Who? [She gets the feeling that he's hiding something, but she's not gonna press for details.]

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

I still don't know who she is. I asked her to talk to me on the network but she hasn't replied yet.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Mm. You didn't kill her, did you?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

No. But I'm pretty sure I injured her.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[She lays a reassuring hand on his arm, on the sleeve of his sweater.] It's okay. I think most people went a little crazy during the event. She'll probably understand.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He nods.] I fought with Kite-san too, but at least he knows I'm not normally like that. [He frowns at his feet, though, remembering the last time he and Kite talked before the event and how well that had gone.]

So...what about you?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[Elaine stares at her feet as well, then looks up at all the trees. Gotta keep her chin up.] When I did that whole thing during the event, I was pretty sure that I would end up... destroying everything here. And killing everyone. And I would have done it, anyway. I would have.

[She's quiet afterwards, not looking him in the eye, but deliberately keeping her eyes on the leaves of the trees above them.]

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

You wanted out that badly? [He thinks back to what she said over the network.] Because of everyone's fear?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Something like that, I guess. [She sits on one of the benches in the garden.] I'm just so ashamed. I never, would never... do something like that. [She looks up at Ganta, honestly confused.] Why would I do something like that?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[For the moment, he remains standing in front of her, hands in his pockets.] ...Maybe...

It's hard to have power and not use it when you think it might help.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Maybe. [She shuffles her feet anxiously, turning solid for the moment to push around the soil at her feet.] I'm not... as strong as I thought I was. And it's hard to accept.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

You mean your power? Or your...your will?