[Video]

[demiurgos_girl]

[Elaine is still spirit walking, not yet quite ready to risk going back into her body.]

Mm. [She clears her throat, and forces herself to look straight at the camera.] I don't usually get that scared or desperate. [This is important to her; she's only twelve, after all, and the opinion of her peers and friends matters a lot. Like any kid and teen, she cares very much about what people think of her.] I think it wasn't just the atmosphere of the place, but maybe the Mansion actually got into our heads and fed us fear.

There was a time I was kidnapped for a few hours, before I came here. And I could have sworn that I would die of fear. I was so scared. And then I realized that it wasn't my fear that I was feeling, but my captor's. I guess it was strong enough that I could read his head without meaning to. And during the event, being around all that fear, I... just couldn't take it. [I just wasn't strong enough. What was Lucifer thinking, giving me this power... I don't know what to do with it, don't know how to live with it.]

[I wish he was here...]

Ganta? Could we have that talk now?

Comments

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[It falls flat for Elaine too, though she gives him another smile.] So who tells their story first?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He sighs.] I guess I'll go first.

[Seems like the right thing to do, since he did just baldly say that she screwed up. He scuffs his shoes in the grass for a few steps before saying anything.] I attacked someone I'd never met, for no reason except that I was scared.

[He wasn't quite ready to admit to the rest of what he'd been up to during the event.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh. Who? [She gets the feeling that he's hiding something, but she's not gonna press for details.]

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

I still don't know who she is. I asked her to talk to me on the network but she hasn't replied yet.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Mm. You didn't kill her, did you?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

No. But I'm pretty sure I injured her.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[She lays a reassuring hand on his arm, on the sleeve of his sweater.] It's okay. I think most people went a little crazy during the event. She'll probably understand.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He nods.] I fought with Kite-san too, but at least he knows I'm not normally like that. [He frowns at his feet, though, remembering the last time he and Kite talked before the event and how well that had gone.]

So...what about you?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[Elaine stares at her feet as well, then looks up at all the trees. Gotta keep her chin up.] When I did that whole thing during the event, I was pretty sure that I would end up... destroying everything here. And killing everyone. And I would have done it, anyway. I would have.

[She's quiet afterwards, not looking him in the eye, but deliberately keeping her eyes on the leaves of the trees above them.]

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

You wanted out that badly? [He thinks back to what she said over the network.] Because of everyone's fear?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Something like that, I guess. [She sits on one of the benches in the garden.] I'm just so ashamed. I never, would never... do something like that. [She looks up at Ganta, honestly confused.] Why would I do something like that?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[For the moment, he remains standing in front of her, hands in his pockets.] ...Maybe...

It's hard to have power and not use it when you think it might help.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

Maybe. [She shuffles her feet anxiously, turning solid for the moment to push around the soil at her feet.] I'm not... as strong as I thought I was. And it's hard to accept.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

You mean your power? Or your...your will?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

My will. [Lucifer was known for that. Strongest willpower in the universe... No. Second strongest.] I can't believe I would let people down like that.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

People make mistakes. [It probably isn't much consolation, but it's true.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[She gives a halfhearted smile which falls short of actually looking happy.] I guess so.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He finally sits down next to her, taking his hands out of his pockets to rest his elbows on his knees.] I don't really know what else to say. Except I'm not mad at you or anything over it. I get why you did it. [He smiles over at her, and it's his most genuine smile so far.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[That turns her smile genuine as well. Knowing that at least one of her friends isn't angry for what she was about to do makes her happier.] Thank you.

[She wants to put off the next part of the conversation, so she's quiet for a while.]

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He's quiet as well. He's got a lot on his mind and isn't sure what, if any of it he wants to bother her with. So he sits and looks at the grass and the bushes and the trees, and swings his feet with his toes just grazing the ground. Because benches generally aren't made for people who are under five feet tall. orz

After a couple minutes, he looks over at her again.] Did you have anything else on your mind?

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[As her twelve year old self, she's at least the same height as him. Probably shorter.] Yes. Your collar. It's gone. [She looks at him inquisitively.

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He avoids meeting her gaze and rubs his neck again, self-consciously this time.] Oh...yeah. I uh found someone to take it off for me.

[It's a pretty thin attempt at hiding who did it, since she had obviously been monitoring his conversation with the Major when they discussed it.]

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[She sighs, but she's not angry.] The Major, you mean?

[rookie-deadman.livejournal.com]

[He grimaces slightly and nods.] Yeah. I didn't let him keep it, but he got a good look at it anyway.

[demiurgos-girl.livejournal.com]

[Elaine can honestly say that she doesnt care so much about the collar, right now.] ...And you've been sick ever since? [Her eyes narrow in worry. She holds a hand up to his forehead, feeling.] You're really cold.